Kilabuni Nights Part VII – On Madibira’s Commerce (‘A’ – Texas Chips Centre)

18 Feb 2010            0900 local Madibira, TZ

Imagine a Flyntus.  An invisible bird that flies through outer space feeding on dreams.  For a moment his sterling Flyntus gaze passes over an exquisite azure marble called ‘Earth.’  Slowly at first, our gaze inches toward to incandescent orb.  Then the pace quickens.  Amoebas of color come into focus on the blue surface.  Rapidly we are drawn towards a singular point on the globe; features, then objects assert themselves in the lens until we are a hundred askance to a smattering of simple houses and shacks four hours from the nearest pavement or electricity.  Set against the impossibly picturesque sky, this is Madibira.

A Brief Accounting of the Shops and Commercial Outlets of Madibira

A note to the Reader: Madibira’s central bazaar will hold momentous sway in the coming entries.  Such in mind, prudence would dictate that I pause here to offer an accounting of the state, condition and purpose of the several shops.

Texas Chips CentreFor some months a staple of Boots’ physical as well as cultural well-being, the Texas Chips Centre is operated by an enterprising young Tanzanian named Gifty.  Poised advantageously at Madibira’s sole intersection (and a T-intersection at that), Texas Chips Centre (known colloquially as “Texas Chipsy” (Tex-us Chipz-ee)) is a social hub for the young men of the village.

Gifty has begun to purchase power from the gas-generator recently procured by a nearby cellular phone shop to play recorded music through a second-hand karaoke machine.  The sense of novelty and festivity lures a crowd of revelers on even the most quiet of nights.  Boots’ closest friend in Madibira, DEO, recently acquired a billiards table and rents matches out to patrons at 1,000 Tsh per, with the fee dropping at the feet of the defeated.

Gifty’s oeuvre holds a pair of specialties.  There is chipsy nyama (literally “chipsy with meat,” or “meat chpsy”)  and chipsy mayai (literally “chipsy with egg(s),” or “egged chipsy”).  Prior to considering the relative merits of these two dishes it is instructive to discuss chipsy itself.  Approximately, “chips” in the parlance of Tanzania refer to what many of our Western readers would know as “French-” or “Freedom-“ fries.  In truth, this is not precisely the case; there can be no translation without deception.  “Chipsy” does not mean “fries,” “chipsy” means “chipsy.”  Tanzanian “chips” are, sincere to the name, dried shavings of potatoes ‘chipped’ away from the larger body by either a heavy knife or some type of sharp hammer.

Upon receiving an order, Gifty will take a substantial helping of chips from a plastic case and place them by hand into a makeshift skillet (two frying pans, one upside down).  As a craftsman, he adds chilly sauce[1] and primary ingredients,[2] creating over the course of ten minutes a fibonacci dish of delicious proportions.  To speak to the subject of preference, I must confess that I am partial to the chipsy mayai. The fried eggs sit gently over the chipsy and mix with the chilli sauce to produce a dish as effortlessly enjoyed as it is effortlessly consumed (there is no silverware, all cuisine at the Texas Chips Centre is lanced with handheld toothpicks).  What’s more, orders of the chipsy mayai receive an enhanced amount of total product, as Gifty inserts two eggs into the recipe out of sheer magnanimity, whereas the bits of meat in the chipsy nyama are more scarce and difficult to apprehend.

McBride, unsurprisingly, maintains that chipsy nyama is the superior creation.  Indeed, Gifty is magnificent with his preparation of meat.  The cuts are refreshingly free of bone or fat and the preparation is mysterious, yet undeniably effective (we suspect Gifty has been utilizing ginger but have to this point been impotent to prove anything).  That said, McBride’s opinion that chipsy nyama is preferable is as sublimely stupid as it is wrong.  I disagree with him and so, it should be noted, does the chipsy mayai.

Economy

For being perhaps the fanciest restaurant in town, prices at the Texas Chips Centre are disarmingly reasonable.  Walking up in the middle of the day, a diner is able to procure a plate of chipsy nyama and two large (24 oz.) beers for 1,500 Tsh ($1.11 USD).  Seating is primarily of the outdoor/bench variety.  In a bold move, reservations are not accepted.

Overall

Texas Chips Centre is truly a welcome addition to the neighborhood.  Higher-end dining at reasonable prices and entertainment to boot.  We hereby bequeath the Madibira Texas Chips Centre with our highest TRAVELER’S COMMENDATION, 5 machetes (out of 5).

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[1] A kind of thick, runny hot sauce; intoxicating

[2] Nyama if one is having chipsy nyama; Mayai if one is having chipsy mayai